It’s startling to wake up and find out we’re at war.

Or at least that war has been declared on us. Me and more than half of my fellow citizens, and worse—our enemy is our own government, the one that used to be of the people. Our foes are the current regime, all the military they can muster, and a fair portion of volunteers from the ranks of the disaffected, confused, armed, and pissed-off.

We’re the radical left! I am, anyway.

“Radical” doesn’t mean anything in that construct. “Radical” just goes right along with “left” like toilet paper on a shoe. It has the same semantic role as “fucking” does in the phrase “fucking Republicans.” That doesn’t mean anything either. They may or may not be fucking. The Incels have complained outright nobody will fuck them, and a raft of the others have aged past having their chippies provided for them, back in the good old days before people started poking their noses in their business.

Anyway, I am definitely a member of the radical left, in that I believe we should have universal health care, and a sound environment, and that we should take care to protect the rights and lives of people at risk, the poor, the hungry, the stranger, the reviled—basically, that whole Jesus agenda. That we should uphold freedom of speech and freedom of assembly and freedom of the press because those are the best ideas America ever had. That we should move as quickly as possible into a sustainable future of clean energy and not continue to shit all over our own nest. And that we should see to our collective good by a steeply progressive tax structure because billionaires are the only minority that does not further need our support.

Radical.

One of my fellow radicals just flew to Chicago for a vacation, and I warned her to be careful that our military doesn’t detain her lefty ass, but she said not to worry. They’re going in to Memphis first, she said. Memphis. Evidently we have theaters of occupation now, just like in a real war. She wouldn’t be rattled by being detained anyway. She has twice been arrested for piracy on the open seas for chaining herself to the harpoon of a whaling ship while serving on the Rainbow Warrior. Match that mettle, President Bone Spurs.

Specifically, what the regime is aiming to rein in are radical lefties, Democrats (for the purposes of the reich, the same thing), and any organizations that monetarily support our vile progressive aims. And Antifa. This, after Charlie Kirk was shot. Antifa had nothing to do with that, but you gotta hang someone and there’s no point wasting a murder.

All we know is Charlie Kirk was killed by a radicalized young man of uncertain viewpoint. In many ways lone murderers on the left and right have more in common with each other than with any ideology. I suppose if I had to align myself, I’d go with the violent people who hate fascists rather than the violent people who hate, well, everyone else—minorities, non-Christians, they/them, and me. But I abhor violence. I cringe when I swat a mosquito.

At any rate, Mr. Trump has decided both Antifa and the Democratic Party are terrorist organizations, so now he has a legal framework for our destruction.

Antifa, of course, isn’t an organization at all, and no one is funding it. Antifa is a diffuse ragtag group of righteous warriors bound and determined to strike a blow for freedom while unhelpfully providing our political opposition with highly effective video for their attack ads. But by all means let us find out who is paying for all those bottles and gasoline and rocks.

Organized? Democrats show no sign of being organized. We have the long view when it comes to freedom and civil rights and sustainability of the planet, but the shorter view—to the next election—oh hell no. If one of our candidates checks every single box on our wish list except the second to the last one on the fifteenth page, we will take them down. If there’s one loose thread poking out of the fine fabric that is our ideal leader, we will yank it out until it’s completely unraveled. We believe we will prevail because of the virtue of our positions, and we will make sure our sense of righteousness is satisfied in every way even though it means electing someone who checks none of our boxes.

We will insist our representatives publicly champion all three transgender girls competing in high school sports, because we simply will not kick anyone under the bus. Good for us! But we’ll let that bus drive right off a cliff with a fucking Republican at the wheel.

Calm yourselves, Republicans. You have nothing to fear from us. Just in case, though, you should continue to rig the districts and suppress the vote.

We’ll die pure.