What if I don’t want to “work it, gurl?”
My current purveyor of underwear sells a product called “effortless” panties. I ask so little [...]
Margaret Day!
[This is an annual feature and public service announcement from Murrmurrs, Inc. Your regularly scheduled [...]
Hey. We’ve got potatoes too. They just don’t go on and on about themselves.
Oregon now has an official state vegetable, the potato, which strikes me as a rather [...]
In which I say a mouthful
I am not currently made of money—just a little sinew and some fat deposits held [...]
BooBoo comes around
“Hey Peanut Boy” was never a good name for a crow. Not even as a [...]
The legendary, subatomic kitten
How many rules can you break when you’re only a few weeks old? The Rule [...]
A detonation of felines
We just had an explosion in the Brewster household. Fortunately we had a redundant containment [...]
A farewell and hello and farewell again to arms
You read a lot about arms shipments these days. Some of us have the wars, [...]
Two heads are marginally better than none
Here’s the thing: Everything’s hard if you’re dumb. Although plenty of dumb people can jump-start [...]
Nobody likes to be the loser in Circle Jerk.
I like playing games. I’m hard to beat at Boggle but I don’t absolutely have [...]
Bring on the earthquake. I have a big box
Thirty years ago, I was introduced to a book that changed my life. With “Pain [...]
My tongue thrust is none of your business.
Fact is, my teeth look like they’ve been chased into a flesh corral by a [...]
Storm’s a-comin’
When it comes to weather forecasts, I’m a minimalist. I just want the facts. I [...]
What’s in your pants?
I will admit I might, on occasion, visually appraise a man walking out of a [...]
Out with the old, in with the gold: introducing the Louis XIV Collection, by Walmart
I dunno. I mean, I know we’re tearing folks out of their homes and disappearing [...]