Bring on the earthquake. I have a big box
Thirty years ago, I was introduced to a book that changed my life. With “Pain [...]
My tongue thrust is none of your business.
Fact is, my teeth look like they’ve been chased into a flesh corral by a [...]
Storm’s a-comin’
When it comes to weather forecasts, I’m a minimalist. I just want the facts. I [...]
What’s in your pants?
I will admit I might, on occasion, visually appraise a man walking out of a [...]
Out with the old, in with the gold: introducing the Louis XIV Collection, by Walmart
I dunno. I mean, I know we’re tearing folks out of their homes and disappearing [...]
Cleanup on Mile One, or when your shorts are taking it in the shorts
You like to think that years of experience should count for something. But the more [...]
Portland: We’re (metaphorically) on fire now!
I walked downtown by myself, looking for a riot. I wouldn’t be alone for long. [...]
It’s called Blueland. (Greenland was taken.)
I buy way too much plastic. Probably less than most, but still a shocking amount. [...]
Things that go trump in the night
The other night, our power went out for no discernible reason. I sat in the [...]
One place where “blue” and “on the right” are both true
Find the big blue lake. That was our task. It was big! It was blue! [...]
There’s a suckee born every minute
When I was little I was afraid of dodge ball, the flying monkeys in The [...]
Erections have consequences: Big Pete is livin’ the dream
War Secretary Pete Hegseth bounded onto the stage in front of a flag as big [...]
How to disguise clickbait so that no one will ever click on it
A while back, in the days before I joined Substack, I was having trouble posting [...]
Don’t judge me until you’ve encountered an attack squash
I have a startle response that won’t quit. If I could pair my startle response [...]
The President has been mocked! Round up the usual suspects.
It’s startling to wake up and find out we’re at war. Or at least that [...]