Rugs Of Doom
We love Tibetan rugs. They're sumptuous and thick and artsy-craftsy and they must be tasteful, [...]
Paunch And Judy
Everything was fascinating and new when I was a little kid, and old-lady necks were [...]
The Phallically Burdened
Well goodness gracious, it hardly seems possible that it's been such a big secret all [...]
Angels And Pinheads
I took some philosophy courses in college. They were fun. There you are, just you [...]
Seeing C.K.
Ah, man, I can't stay mad at Louis C.K. I know I'm supposed to. There [...]
The Boarders
That first year in this house, although I had swept up plenty of tiny little [...]
How To Hide A 3,000-Pound Pineapple
See, if I did happen upon a nodosaur, which looks like a 3,000-pound tailed cockroach [...]
This Is About A Box Of Dicks
Picture a big ol' box of dicks. They're wriggling around, they're eating oats. Something about [...]
Oh What An Untangled Web
So there I was minding my own business when someone mentioned that orb-weaving spiders made [...]