Give me a mild dot of pain somewhere for one minute and I’ll jump straight to a cancer diagnosis. That’s how I roll. But my symptoms never approached the severity of a Tunisian woman’s recent urinary tract infection, nor would I have had sufficient imagination to suspect the problem was a glass tumbler in my bladder. But that is what it turned out she had.
I didn’t even know you could get a glass tumbler in a bladder. Nobody drinks water that fast.
There are ways. The way she might have done it was to put the tumbler (first) in her vagina, and then (second) forget to take it out. It’s normal to come up one glass short so nothing about that situation flagged anything for her.
And it’s not that unusual to forget something in your vagina. I’ve done it myself. I’d like to apologize right now to the unfortunate fellow occupants seen fleeing from the public restroom in Terminal B at Logan in 1972. Anyway, be advised you should not leave anything in your vagina for too long, or leave anything too long in your vagina. Most cases of vaginal invasion resolve themselves on their own.
This particular tumbler was left behind for so long that it irritated the vaginal lining right through to the bladder, which is its immediate neighbor to the front. This caused a fistula, or a non-traditional connection between body parts, and it is assumed the tumbler migrated. I do not know that if you have enough little extraneous tunnels between organs you could squirrel away an entire crockery set, or whether the water glass will naturally gravitate to the left of the wine glass, with the soup spoon to the right, or not. It seems handy, in a way, like if your uterus needed to borrow a cup of bile. I find the whole idea a little concerning though. I’m a compact individual of economical stature and everything in me is near everything else, so God knows what could happen.
You’re really not supposed to have volunteer connections between body parts. For instance, the vagina is designed to have a particular pH that it does not share with the bladder. It is fairly acidic, which protects against parasites, bacteria, and fungi, besides being good for blueberries. The vaginas of women past menopause become significantly less acidic. Hell, life in general gets more basic when you’re old.
Many accounts of the Tumblering In Tunisia report the woman inserted the glass into her urethra by mistake, which is entirely believable—just last week I accidentally shoved a gallon flower pot up my ass and barely noticed it. She did remember she had once used it as a sex toy. The bendy straw was never recovered.
But people do hide various objects in their vaginas for all sorts of reasons. A woman being booked into jail in Tennessee popped a loaded gun in hers, but she was then charged with introducing contraband into a penile facility. I’m not hostile to males, but I think it’s rude to refer to someone’s vagina as a penile facility.
Oh. Penal facility. That’s different. Never mind.
In the interests of promoting public health, I hereby append the following warning from Get India News, verbatim:
According to reports, she inserted the glass into her urethra instead of the vagina which was very dangerous for every woman. If some women try to do this, then we warned you that our genitals parts are very crucial for us. If something mishappened to our genitals part then it will guarantee that it will become a bigger issue for women and men also. People have to take care of their genitals parts. God has made this for some purpose. This thing will happen to anyone. If the Tunisian woman has made some precautions then she has not had to face the situation.
At this time of life, I doubt I could manage a shot glass up there, let alone a tumbler. And HOW does one mistake one’s urethra for one’s vagina, let alone get anything in there? Aren’t urethras usually wee, tiny holes?
See, I don’t think she shoved it in her urethra. I just don’t.
I feel bad for chuckling at this poor woman’s plight, but “penile facility” almost made me laugh a little too hard if you know what I mean! Murr, did you hear or see the recent news item about a man having to get a barbell removed from his rectum? Anyway thanks for the women’s anatomy lesson, guys are clueless when it comes to that stuff! 🙃
We know, Doug…. We know.
Haha–I was asking for that, wasn’t I!
You’re the second person to mention that barbell incident to me. I think I may need to investigate, purely for the advancement of knowledge.
Less acidic, more acerbic, as I age.
Murr, you are a font of funniness!
Between ‘if your uterus needed to borrow a cup of bile’ and ‘penile facility’….well, you’ve outdone yourself with this one!! And, speaking of poking around in the Lost & Found, one of the very few things that have ever seemed totally wrong to me: http://www.mum.org/CupTsway.htm But I think that is probably worthy of a separate blog posting — if you can figure out a way to make the concept seem funny….
I actually used the Tassaway menstrual cup in the ‘70’s. Seemed like a great idea to me, although it was quite messy to empty and reinsert.
Didn’t mean to post anonymously. Takes a while to navigate this new format.
I used it too. We were modern. We tried it. It was not pleasant. That wasn’t the thing I accidentally left in my vagina though.
Actually, it was the aliens that inserted it into her urethra, to prevent her from having Elvis’s baby, but she didn’t want to say that because, well, that’s just weird.
If she had been a patient of Dr. House’s, he’d’ve made her fess up about the aliens eventually. After he rules out sarcoidosis and rhabdo.
And performs a lumbar puncture; something he seemed to do on EVERY episode.
“Hell, life in general gets more basic when you’re old.” I see what you did there, you… you… chemist!
My favorite subject, actually.
Simply had to forward this one!!
By all means share away!
A masterful combination of vaginas, pH and blueberries brought together as never before! Congrats! Just a question…high bush, Vaccinium corymbosum or low bush, Vaccinium angustifolium?
Mine is a little lower-bush than most.
Ignoring the tumbler for now, someone put a gun up there? A loaded gun? I’m constantly stunned at the silly things people do to themselves.
So many Questions… so few Answers… I’m sure her Back Story was Interesting, to say the least.
I’m also thinking she was an unusually large woman.
A sort of Tunisian version of the Dutch cap?
She said sex toy. So no.
It was I who commented on how totally wrong the Tassaway Cup concept seemed to be. I just figured out how to avoid posting as “Anonymous” 🙂
Sometimes this site kicks me into anonymity too. I don’t have the world figured out yet. BTW I’m pretty sure I did write about Tassaway once.
Ah. Found it. It wasn’t a post, it was in the comments to a post in October 2018: “I do remember them coming out with a menstrual cup back in the ’70s and being a thoroughly modern gal I tried it. Tassaway, I think it was called. Um, only tried it once. It was terrific if you were going for a horror-movie bathroom stall scene.”
My sister worked as an ER nurse 40 yrs ago- there were all kinds of interesting objects found in various orifices of all sexes……
We occasionally got interesting mail pieces but it ain’t quite the same.
Hoooo boy. I am happy to lead such a boring, unviolated existance. Your expression in the tumbler photo is exactly mine on reading this piece.
Boredom is underrated!
Thank you for a serious out-loud laugh today. Actually, several. And, I too was thinking about a menstrual cup kind of thing.
I think the societies that got it right just make women go somewhere with each other and leave them alone to drip. I’m in!
People do stupid things when they still have hormones. I’m kinda glad I don’t do stupid shit in the name of sexual urges anymore. Instead, I have a whole bunch of OTHER stupid shit that I can do!
When Paul was a young teen — and, of course, horny as hell — he decided to try pleasuring himself with a novel lubricant: Vick’s VapoRub. Yah… he said that it was a week before he got over the pain!
Somehow that put me in mind of a friend of ours who casually sat down on what turned out to be a bucket of turpentine and then launched himself into the nearby Columbia River.
The act of reading a headline and then deciding whether to read the article or not is such a delicate moment. Anyway, I have absolutely no comment about this.
But you read it.