It is in times of great tragedy that the true strength of a nation is revealed in sharp relief, and the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Maryland is no exception. The thing had barely smacked the water before the investigation began into how it was Biden’s fault. Such can-do spirit is no accident: only an organized and well-prepared party can hit the ground running like that. And the Republican Party, far from being the feckless do-nothings they are accused of being by some on the left, were already demonstrating their strength by dawn’s early light. Theirs is a well-oiled machine and their disaster preparedness is second to none. They are well supplied with bullshit and immediately began flinging it out like paper towels to Puerto Ricans.

Right out of the gate, we learned it was Biden’s shameful open-borders policy that has left the Chesapeake Bay wide open to invasion by foreign cargo ships containing who-knows-what.

But primarily, DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) policies brought down the bridge, and if you doubt that, consider that the mayor of Baltimore, the governor of Maryland, and the commissioner of the Port of Baltimore are not only proponents of DEI policies, but are themselves Black, and no one believes any of these people could possibly have gotten their jobs unless they were personally afflicted by diversity. True, the governor and the mayor were elected in a landslide but the woke electorate gave no consideration to worthy white candidates, so there is no way you are going to get the best and the brightest. The governor and the mayor’s culpability in the loss of the foreign ship’s steering will soon be brought to light by a means to be fabricated later.

Worse, the Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, is openly gay, which is the only reason, other than his thundering intelligence, possibly unmatched in either party, he was given the job by President Biden, pandering to his base. (It’s the same reason Leonardo da Vinci is still touted as a genius in certain circles.) Buttigieg, like virtually everyone else in the administration, was probably asleep at the time the bridge went down. And the first thing he thought of when he woke up was pronouns and drag queens and stuff. He is a disgrace. The last time there was a horrible incident it took him almost three weeks to visit the site. This time he showed up right away. Neither of those responses was correct. Proper respect would dictate a time between eight hours and one month. Say, three or four days, just after a trip to Cancún.

The mayor of Baltimore was on the scene within the hour but lost credibility by wearing a baseball jacket and a beard, clearly playing to his thug base.

This bridge was a clear example of real, honest infrastructure and yet in spite of Biden’s spending a trillion dollars on a bipartisan infrastructure bill, the bridge went down, because all that money was wasted on Green Projects. Republicans would not have wasted it on Green Projects. Republicans were clear-minded, practical, and focused, and declared an Infrastructure Week dozens of times in their four years in power, and you can bet they were talking about ignoring real manly pretend infrastructure like superhighways and bridges and pipelines, not your sissy internet access or redundant drinking water systems in a land with plenty of bottled water.

Meanwhile, there is already an enormous show-crane on site and work has begun to replace the bridge using actor-laborers, an undertaking that is doomed to failure because the workforce has become drug-addled since the coronavirus lockdowns destroyed Americans’ will to live and work. The project is expected to cost 2 billion dollars and Biden has already said it would be paid for with federal money, rather than teaching Baltimore citizens to be self-reliant and pay for their fancy bridge themselves. Have you seen Baltimore citizens? These are not people who take responsibility for themselves.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump is said to have had his fat bottom line plumped up by six billion dollars overnight when his tiny failed social media site went public, because that’s how wealth is made, ladies and gentlemen, and since Republicans have—if absolutely nothing else—valiantly safeguarded the treasure of billionaires whenever they were in power, he might be good to go. Because he needs all that, more every day his yap is open. A person who has six billion dollars might even be imagined to be able to lose a third of it without it impacting his way of life at all, but it would be shameful and thoroughly unAmerican to expect such an individual to fund a bridge himself via taxation.

The men who died in the collapse of the bridge were discovered to be immigrant laborers on the night shift and although their role in the disaster has not yet come to light, there are operatives working day and night to manufacture one. The only thing we know about them for sure is that they are here taking the midnight pothole-filling shift away from real Americans.