Dateline: Saturday, July 30, 2022. It is now 99 degrees outside. And since one should always strive to say nice things, I will say that this is as nice as it’s going to feel for the rest of the day, because it’s only noon.
Also? It’s been above 98 for the last six days and our weather is so tickled with itself that it’s penciling in the same for tomorrow.
Tardigrades are shrugging all sixteen shoulders but everyone else hates this crap. The crows are regretting their wardrobe choices. Even the tomatoes are pissy.
It’s enough to make a person resort to drastic measures, but, as I assured the neighbor, No, that wasn’t a gunshot. We’re defenseless Democrats. What happened is my thighs stuck to the piano bench so that when I stood up, the whole vinyl seat came with me. And then it slammed back down, with a thunderous crack that Beethoven took in stride but that probably scared the tweed trousers off Erik Satie.
Under normal conditions, I can get up and walk around without taking any of my furniture with me. Although it can get into triple digits here. Once a summer, maybe, or whenever my friend Linder comes to visit. But things have changed. I never expected I’d hear myself say “What’s the smoke index today?” or “At least it isn’t 116 degrees like last year!” or that I’d react to the terrible flooding in Kentucky by thinking “Sounds refreshing!”
But many people in Kentucky have been whooshed away by record floods and not the ones you might have picked out for culling. Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell, for example. They’re still fucking here. Here’s Paul, getting in a zinger on AOC: ”No the world will not end in 12 years but we must, absolutely must do something, over the next 500 million years.” Ha ha! As recently as two years ago, but not a moment earlier, McConnell allowed as how climate change was human-caused, but he has no plan to do anything about it. Except that he’s sure someone will come up with something clever sometime as long as we get don’t tax them. Kentucky is vulnerable. Drought, tornados, flooding, wildfire—the only consequence of climate change they’re dodging is coastal erosion, although with continued deglaciation combined with entrenched Republicanism they might not be out of those scorched woods forever. Kentucky coal still powers electricity plants, some homes, and a lot of legislators.
“I’m not a scientist,” McConnell said, when asked about man-made climate change, which was a good start, but amazingly he did not continue on to say “so I would defer to actual scientists on this issue.” Goodness no! It is a theme among Republicans to crow about not knowing anything about a subject and then going ahead with dumb-ass pronouncements on life-and-death issues anyway. And they still get elected. Ignorance sells as long as you’re proud of it. No one likes experts. They think they know so much.
These fakers don’t have any plans. Even their platform was just a photo of Big Ugly against a flag background and the words “What he said.” They have no plans for health care; no plans to strengthen our democracy; not even plans for infrastructure. All they do is make up problems we don’t have and swear they’ll fix them. Too much voter fraud. Too few assault rifles. Too many kids being taught history. Too many women thinking they deserve autonomy. Not enough God.
They are not serious. Mocking Greta Thunberg is not a plan.
Come on, Kentucky. Your representatives are telling you if it gets too hot you could always open a vein to let out some heat. You can do better.
No, the world will probably not end in 12 years. I’d say it may happen sooner, simply because there is this perfect storm of bad things in motion. There is Global Warming. There is the incipient civil war in our country. Too many crazy world leaders with too many nuclear weapons. Gun violence and mass shootings here. And, oh, yeah, the pandemic. Seems like small potatoes with everything else going on. I wonder what the odds in Vegas would be as to which of these things is gonna get us and when.
I’m still hoping for a quick unforeseen exit by bus.
Well, we have our old antique cars in the garage… nearby Excella trains… box cutters in a nice Mr. Bubble bath… so many options….
A tough read, but a great editorial. I am pretty much at a loss for words. At least Kansas has shown a little backbone, upholding women’s rights. I don’t want to be a traitor to my own gender, but men are a lost cause. We need to do the right thing and let women lead this country into da future.
That’s exactly what Paul says. Which is undoubtedly one of the reasons I married him. Yeah, sometimes he can be an asshole. But more often than not, he’s my best friend.
But not Marjorie Taylor Greene.
I didn’t think ANYONE could be crazier than Trump. But then SHE came along. Gives women a bad name.
I agree with Doug. Women couldn’t possibly do a worse job with a few exceptions. Like that Huckleberry person.
“Ignorance sells as long as you are proud of it”. Indeed it does. If you eliminate all self-doubt and carry on as if the lies are treated like factual common knowledge you can take half the people along for the ride. It’s going to be a bumpy one all the way to the bottom, so hang on.
We’ll all hang together!
I’m reading “I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life” by Ed Yong. It is not only fascinating, but gives me enormous hope for the future of the planet. Humans may die out. It’s OK. Microbes will survive, and they are the key to everything!
I didn’t read the book, but I know that this is called “The Sixth Extinction.” So there have apparently been five previous ones. (Yeah, I know about the dinosaurs, but the others… not so much.) But every time, life has sprung back. Maybe not the SAME life. But other iterations of it. Like the birds came about so prolifically because they evolved from the dinosaurs and could adapt better. WE came about because there were no dinosaurs to nom on us. (Okay… maybe that isn’t the best example.) But other, more adaptable life will take over! And I wish them the best. ESPECIALLY if they are birds! (I’m sure Bruce Mohn could clarify all this.)
Oh I can name all those other extinctions. And I can take the long view. But I hate the fact that we’re taking so many other innocents with us, and already have, and it was all us, no asteroid required, just another climate change extinction like the others; it just sucks to be the perp.
Yes, it does. Personally, I think it would be best for everyone and everything if humans were wiped out. BUT. I HATE the collateral damage. We are a cancer on the planet. I wonder if cancer itself ever feels this way: “Oh, man! I’m killing the HOST! And that will kill ME… but I gotta eat! And they have so much sugar in them! YUM!”
I do think it’s gonna be a bumpy ride all the way to the bottom, unfortunately.
I love your tall and proud sunflower 🙂
I’ve been in despair over your country for some time now, yet it has so many fine people. If only they would gather themselves and VOTE blue.
There were ten new sunflowers just under where that one was last year and I let them grow up even though they would shade some vegetables. But none of the pups were as large as that sunflower. They were just regular (if tall).
I am so glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor in the midst of the blazing heat—nor your sense of exasperation, which is such a familiar emotion to me. How can so many people be duped, thoroughly, for so long, and with such disastrous consequences FOR THEM? Big chunks of our country’s culture have gone rancid. Thanks for offering some tasty but sharp commentary.
More evidence has come to light about deliberate efforts by (mostly) Russia to undermine us at the core: pitting people against each other, seeding us with disinformation designed to make us distrust and abandon our institutions. So it isn’t just Republicans alTHOUGH…my lord.
“So the Earthlings infiltrated the ad agency…and they buggered the statistics in the ads. They made the average for everything so high that everybody on the planet felt inferior to the majority in every respect…Only token resistance was offered here and there, because the natives felt so below average.” —Kurt Vonnegut, _Breakfast of Champions_
Damn and I wanted to feel positive today. You guys didnt help, but then I was told to get my important things ready in case I needed to evacuate my house in a hurry since there are 3 raging fires within miles of my house surrounding me. That wasn’t my plan for the day. then it becomes the question of what are the most important things in my house to me. my art supplies? flower seeds? paintings? children’s photos? or oh yeah my house insurance policy which now I have to increase in case I did have to rebuild my house with the rising cost of building materials. if I could even find a builder, a plumber, an electrician a painter, a framer etc. and get on the long wait list for the supply chain to catch up.
well I think I’ll go watch the news and see if the democrats can manage to bungle another possible climate control legislation- no I mean the inflation reduction act. These guys are such boneheads. I hate to have to put my hopes on life continuing on the planet on Sen. Manchin and Sinema to do the right thing. but guess that’s more likely than McConnell and DeSantis. oh yeah and Greg Abbott he’s a good one and from my home state.
Stay positive folks. I think that may help.
Oh man oh man oh man. Now I’ll keep my eyes peeled for news about Texas fires. Maybe that will keep my mind off Oregon fires. No, probably not…anyway it’s tempting to blame Democrats for not getting enough done, but they’re facing an extreme obstructionist opposition and that’s who we need to focus on. We need them OUT. Every last evil one of them.
Great article Murr. Once again so inciteful and hilarious. I just posted a long diatribe about it all but I don’t see it so guess the cyber munchkins at it again.
Excellent writing, Murr.
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