Shoot. Really doesn’t seem like I’ve been here all that long. I guess if the bus hits me tomorrow the newspaper would refer to me as an elderly woman, but if the outer wrapping has seen fresher days, the inner lining still feels springy. But just as my decades seem to fly by faster the more of them I’ve socked away, so too does history.
Until a second ago, the human story has been a long slog when nothing changed all that much. You’ve got your famines and your droughts and your wars and your conquest and your plagues and it’s one familiar thing plodding after another for thousands of years; there’s love and loss and the next plague or conquest is always just around the bend. Maybe the weaponry gets fancier but the cruelty and suffering are the same. But in my meager lifetime alone, the pace has picked up. My life is all of history in a 68-year-old capsule.
I was born between wars, just after Edmund Hillary—and the brownish Tibetan guy that doesn’t count as much—conquered Mt. Everest. Elizabeth was crowned queen of England. My parents were terrified of polio. A vaccine came along and made short work of it. Our house was small by modern standards but we had indoor toilets on a sewer line. My parents, and nearly all humans before them, did not grow up with either. The sewer line in my neighborhood stopped three blocks away in two directions.
That’s because that’s where the colored section started.
You could actually tell what color someone was in my home town by whether or not they had to haul their own shit out in buckets to a truck once a week. That’s how segregated the place was. Black children were essentially invisible to us. They had their own schools. They suffered indignities or worse across the board, every day. White folks, if they gave them any thought at all, saw them as less than fully human.
What we did worry about was nuclear war. We learned to duck under our little desks so survivors would know where to look for our freaky shadows after a thermonuclear blast. Our handsome young President played a game of bluff with a crazy Russian leader.
Soon after, thanks to persistent non-violent action—on one side—requiring jaw-dropping courage, public opinion about racial equality began to turn. Civil rights laws were enacted and conditions did improve steadily for many—still a work in progress, hampered always by Jim Crow’s nephew in a subtler suit, jingling his jail-keys, but without a doubt many racial disparities were lessened. For the cause of equality, it was a low bar, but America did step over it.
By the time I was in high school, reliable birth control was finally legally available, and not too many years later abortion was legal across the land. Mandatory maternity was virtually eliminated. Women were able to control their own bodies and thus their futures for the first time in history. It was huge. It changed everything. The same decade, there was a small uprising in a bar in New York City and the concept of gay rights came into the mainstream. For straights, reflexive ridicule turned to shrugs and then acceptance as a result of sustained political pressure and—even more important—people daring to come out.
The Berlin Wall came down. Non-proliferation treaties were signed. The threat of nuclear annihilation retreated. A Black man was elected President. Gay marriage was legalized.
Politicians desperate to maintain power lied, cheated, and stole. They worked overtime creating enemies for citizens to fear, just to siphon votes their way. A video of a murdered Black man caused much of white America to reconsider its assumptions, briefly, but then a few small bands of destructive demonstrators offered themselves up as Republican talking points and the tide began to turn back toward fear and loathing of the Other. Vaccines, weirdly, were held up as assaults on the body and on freedom, and plagues surged.
Voting restrictions barely distinguishable from the old poll taxes were put in place to specifically discourage the Black vote. A crazy Russian leader set out to obliterate a country and nuclear war loomed once again.
Abortion was outlawed. Even the right to birth control came under assault. Same-sex marriage, too. Children were not to be taught accurate history, lest they learn it. Queen Elizabeth rules still.
This is my little life. It’s a palindrome. A parlor trick. When I die, look for polio to make a comeback.
But if there’s anything to the Dalai Lama story, maybe Tenzing Norgay will be born again.
That’s you in that top photo alright, looking as dubious as you do now. I don’t know what to say; other than a bunch of new electronic gizmos and TV commercials with interracial couples, it seems like nothing much has changed since your baby days. Hell, most of us are still driving fossil fuel cars and Henry Ford predicted they’d be outdated by 1950! I remain optimistic, and am holding out hope for the 23rd century..
As an opposing view from Doug’s, I am a Pessimist. Things generally go from bad to worse after a certain point. I remember reading a psychology article that said that pessimists were more realistic than optimists. It doesn’t give me comfort, Doug, believe me.
I’m just a few years younger than you, Murr. I remember going to Planned Parenthood when I was 18, and getting the pill. I never even had sex yet at that point, but I had a boyfriend. Ever since then, until menopause, I used some form of birth control EVERY TIME. Even though I knew abortion was a backup plan in case it failed.
When I was in my mid-30s, I was late. (And I kept track of my periods on a calendar.) Like about 2 weeks. Instead of at at-home test, I went to Planned Parenthood for a test. Because if they told me that I was pregnant, I would schedule an abortion ASAP. Turns out I wasn’t pregnant — just going through an early peri-menopause. I was SO fucking relieved! Thank fucking god this shit is ending! I never wanted kids, but I never wanted surgery either, so didn’t want to submit to a tubal ligation. Guys have it easy with vasectomies: an out-patient procedure. As they do with a lot of things.
Mimi, I wouldn’t say I was that optimistic–more like sarcastic. Notice I was holding out hope for us 200 years from now. As for this generation or the next one or the one after… nope.
Not that it’s a competition, Doug, but I think I am far more pessimistic than you! I think that humans will be extinct by the next century, if not sooner. I am basically Marvin the Robot from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
I’m with you on that. (My memory of the results of that study of optimists and pessimists is that pessimists make more accurate predictions, but optimists are happier.)
True dat. I remember reading that, too. I’m not a glass half-full kind of person, nor am I exactly a glass half-empty kind of person. I’m more like: “Who the hell has been drinking my cocktail?!”
Pessimists invariably describe themselves as realists. To my mind, reality is a trip and pessimism or optimism is the vehicle we travel in.
Honestly, I’m hopeful that human beings will encounter world-wide irreversible infertility and just go extinct.
Well, to be brutally honest, mainly the white ones.
Do you remember the movie “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? I think of the part where the Bushman sees his first ever White person. He is stunned by her white skin, and the narrator tells us, she was the ugliest, most horrible thing he had ever seen. A giant grub.
White people have written beautiful symphonies, painted glorious scenes, written uplifting books, and built fantastic cities. They enslaved others so that they could have their own freedom to do so. That doesn’t make them superior.
Every day I think of the talent and beauty and brains that White people have repressed, punished, and ignored because it was wrapped in brown skin. How much more beautiful our world would be if everyone got to live without oppression.
Whiteness has become the ugliest of ugly Americans. White Christian racist fascists. How I despise them.
The fact that white people are not routinely murdered in their beds at this point in America is proof of Black superiority.
I just watched the documentary, “The Janes,” on HBO Max. Wow. I had known about The Janes, but this really put the whole time period in context. The bravery of these young women brought tears to my eyes! They were all my contemporaries. I was in college from 1971-75. We all walked around with “Our Bodies Ourselves” and were steeped in women’s issues. It helped that I attended an all-women’s college. I still am in disbelief how far backward we have come in such a short time after we thought we had finally won it ALL. I’m devastated.
Yeah! Walked around with “Our Bodies Ourselves” and steeped in Patchouli, anyway.
The cycle of history is indeed a sad one. Perhaps its hitting us harder because we a living longer and so come full circle.
It’s kind of weird that every generation has thought they were in the end times but this time we might have actually done it. Profound grief.
Paul has always said to me, “Everyone has thought they were in the end times since the beginning of time.” I counter with, “Yeah, but someday one of these generations is going to be right.” *Sigh* Looks like it’s us.
I agree.
A most interesting observation. A palindrome. Ah, me, yes.
🥲
Well now I have to look up Tenzing Norgay.
As you have just proved, (proven?) we do not learn from history do we? Shame on us.
Shame indeed. And fear. We’re already one of if not the worst “developed” country- I question that too- for maternal fetal deaths.
So what do we do but make it worse.
In one short essay, you have summed up most of my most depressing thoughts and fears.
Sorry about that. Unless concision is a virtue.
This is quite a feat of synthesis and sadness. Your ability to throw a lasso around the whole mess amazes me. I can’t. That’s why I stick to birds and flowers. I love you and share your deep sadness at this theoidiocracy gone mad and stomping all over everyone. Hey. I just synthesized a word! xoxox jz
Only one of your tremendous attributes. My heart still pops an extra beat thinking of a badger “humpeting up the hill.”
That could be the State of the Nation address. Ike was still president when I was born. Imagine a war hero Republican who did a lot of good things. Of course the McCarthy era was one of the downsides. When we’re gone the world will still turn on its axis. Maybe people will wake up.
The world will still turn. Not sure about its passengers!
I remember reading a chapter in the book Freakonomics about the effects of abortion on crime. Once abortion was allowed, around 15-20 years later, crime went down. They supposed that it was because all these unwanted children — who, let’s face it — KNEW they were unwanted, and they were poor, well, they weren’t around to commit crimes. So, now that poor women are being required to give birth rather than have an abortion, I suppose that in 15-20 more years, there will be an upsurge in crime. That is, supposing humans are still around… which I doubt. (See Mimi is a Pessimist.)
Tenzing Norgay says no more reincarnations. No more Dalai Lama. I think he’s as sick of the whole mess as the rest of us, and that’s saying something. We always wanted grandchildren, but now I’m grateful that we have none. Sadly you’ve nailed it.
Even back in the mid-seventies, my wonderful mom said “I would love to have grandchildren, but I don’t know if I’d want to bring them into this world at this point…” and she wasn’t even thinking about extinction.
My newest grandchildren, twin girls, are a month old now and I desperately want to see them grow up and have good lives.
Congratulations!
Hi just stopping in this is the second writing of yours that I am reading ! The first one was an article about a fence builder, simply amazing I felt like I was right there with you two as you battled that gate on the rocks 🙂
I can’t wait to read more of what you’ve written, I can tell I’m in for a treat ! Thank you!
Thanks a bunch and welcome aboard! That article from the Christian Science Monitor has for some reason gone viral. Nobody knows why.
PS I do have a little trepidation that people who seek me out on the basis of liking my CSM essays might be a little horrified by some of my stuff. Case in point: the post I plan to put in next Saturday.
Once you start to consider other people’s opinions, you are doomed.
I consider them. It doesn’t generally change anything though.
That’s a mighty long palindrome! And I thought ‘A slut nixes sex in Tulsa’ was a long palindrome. I guess when the end is near and everything looks like shit, smells like shit and feels like shit, you remodel a basement, knowing in your final stinking hours that something was finally improved, despite its lack of forever-ness. Hell, why not throw in a new staircase while you’re at it— it’s gonna outlast all of us.
That comment makes no sense to anyone here but me–but I appreciate it!