Out with the old, in with the gold: introducing the Louis XIV Collection, by Walmart
I dunno. I mean, I know we’re tearing folks out of their homes and disappearing [...]
Cleanup on Mile One, or when your shorts are taking it in the shorts
You like to think that years of experience should count for something. But the more [...]
Portland: We’re (metaphorically) on fire now!
I walked downtown by myself, looking for a riot. I wouldn’t be alone for long. [...]
It’s called Blueland. (Greenland was taken.)
I buy way too much plastic. Probably less than most, but still a shocking amount. [...]
Things that go trump in the night
The other night, our power went out for no discernible reason. I sat in the [...]
One place where “blue” and “on the right” are both true
Find the big blue lake. That was our task. It was big! It was blue! [...]
There’s a suckee born every minute
When I was little I was afraid of dodge ball, the flying monkeys in The [...]
Erections have consequences: Big Pete is livin’ the dream
War Secretary Pete Hegseth bounded onto the stage in front of a flag as big [...]
How to disguise clickbait so that no one will ever click on it
A while back, in the days before I joined Substack, I was having trouble posting [...]