As an Oregonian, I have cast my ballot by mail for the last thirty years. That’s how we do it around here. I sorta miss trudging to the polling place in the pouring rain to stand behind that little curtain, so reminiscent of a hospital gown that opens in the back. There’s a certain thrill in a celebration of civic spirit and I’ve always been fond of the ladies volunteering at the card tables who check off my name.
But having the ballot in front of you on your kitchen counter for three weeks is way better. I’m not blindsided by the things I didn’t know were going to be on the ballot. I can study in convenient increments. Also, I vote in fuzzy slippers. It works great.
I was not prepared for the ballot that showed up in my mail this time. It had a Jack-in-the-box vibe to it. Slit that envelope open and it was like launching a confetti cannon. Bubbles everywhere!
The problem involved two new developments. Last year we voters approved a new form of city government. Rather than one mayor and four commissioners, we are to have twelve council members, three from each of four new districts. The idea was that the concerns of the less-endowed sections of Portland were not being fairly addressed, or something, and the way to rectify that was to convene a herd of people plus one person who sets up the whiteboard and brings the donuts and then shit would git done. That being the premise, I see no reason we shouldn’t elect, like, twenty reps per district, or create twelve districts and dilute that power 36 ways. I believe I was the Portlander who didn’t vote for this setup, but there might have been another crank out there too. Anyway, it’s happening.
But that’s not all. The other thing we decided on last year is ranked-choice voting. One of the things you can do with ranked-choice voting is put a check mark down for your actual favorite candidate, not just the one you have to vote for to keep the truly awful candidate from winning. In our case, we get to rank six candidates, and they’re all put into a giant beaker and shaken up, and a precipitate will slide to the bottom, and the gassy bits will escape out the top end, and we’re left with a nice clear solution to pour into office. I did vote for that. I believe I visualized something on the order of picking the best three out of five, or something. Kind of fun.
But my ballot exploded all over the kitchen counter. Are there five people running for mayor and we get to pick one? Oh no. Nineteen. Pick six, in order. For my three district councilors? Twenty-two. Pick six. In order. The ballot looks like one of those games in the Fun Section of the newspaper and if you fill it out right, it makes a picture of a chicken.
We probably can’t go far wrong. I mean, this is Portland. We warm our homeless population with dumpster fires during BLM marches. We streamline government by putting the transgender surgery unit in the same building as the fentanyl distribution center. So for mayor, we have 18 essentially compassionate sorts and one asshole. All of them aim to eliminate homelessness, only one of them by shooting people in their tents. We have a stripper. A winemaker. A guy who’s been living in a shack under a bridge for the last ten years. The inventor of a micro flotation device that goes in your swimsuit. It’s all good. But even when I get them narrowed down to six, in order, there’s a problem. I need a straight-edge to fill in my bubbles. Otherwise I’m one diopter of astigmatism away from elevating an asshole to public office.
This is just the sort of mess that makes me take a shortcut through the rest of the ballot by filling in the Democrat bubble over the Republican one without even checking the names.
That’s not true. It’s a whole different mess that makes me do that.
Ranked choice voting needs to be democratized everywhere.
Can we narrow it down to a half dozen candidates though?
After reading this, you have convinced me that Portland is far crazier than Berkeley!
Thank you!
Nah, after working at one of the Berkeley polls today…… students, all the students,
Ranked choice sounds intimidating, but I’m still envious. I wish I lived in a more progressive state like Oregon! (Actually, I wish I lived in a country where the popular vote determined the winner but that’s another story.. grumble grumble)
THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE NEEDS TO DIE
Yes! It’s need to die for a couple of centuries.
Agreed!
This is my second election this time, last time I voted in Oregon was 1980, before heading off to somewhere else.
I really like the mail ballots, or I did until my ballot was rejected, the email said my signature didn’t match the previous time. They sent me a card to fill out, and sign again. Today I got an email that said they were reluctantly counting my ballot.
I can’t say I’m fond of the ranked choice, at least not in our current environment. It somehow seems like rating who you dislike the least, in order.
I can’t say I feel good about what will happen nationally, mostly for my kids and grands.
We’re screwed, and yet we vote.
Left a comment earlier, seems it didn’t post.
I voted in Oregon for the second time, this go-around. First time was in ’72, vainly for McGovern, then off and on, moved a few times, then before this residency was in ’80, again on the losing side for Carter.
This time, I was notified my signature didn’t make the muster, and my ballot was rejected. The Multnomah Co. elections people sent me a card to fill out to refute, today I got an email saying they had reluctantly counted my vote.
I don’t have a good feeling about the national election, hope I’m wrong. I fear for my kids and grands.
We have ranked-choice voting in Maine, but only for federal elections, since the Maine State Constitution specifically calls for state elections to be decided by plurarlity. I hope we can change that.
I don’t know what our state constitution calls for. I don’t know if it had to be changed to get the ranked-choice voting. Comes down to it, I don’t know much at all.
I am not sure that Portland is really crazier than Berkeley. I am a “poll worker” this year. Lots of people dropping off their mail-in ballots (no dumpster fires but a robbed mail truck). Students deciding to vote where they go to school rather than from their parents’ address. Others taking their paper ballot and happily using it as a crib sheet while they mark away on the touch screen booths,
Then there is the ballot – and a whole list of “initiatives,” propositions, and special questions for which even the lawyer in our working group said were really confusing.
Hoping to be still alive by Wednesday morning…..
More council members simply means more people that need to get paid so guess where your tax dollars will be going?
Not to the homeless.
I agree your stupid ELECTORAL COLLEGE needs to be fired, got rid of, eliminated, ground into dust.
How you say what you say, and then your denouement in this one (yet again, but this most needed) lets me find my breath for one more day.
Goodness. Thank you.
It’s November 3. Two more sleeps.
Fortunately I’ve never been challenged over my signature. First time I signed the register my signature was perfectly legible. Then after a dorm mate stole a check and forged my signature, I changed it, but that change didn’t get into the polling station books until years later. By that time I’d been struck by lightning and gone through five years of micro-seizures where my handwriting looked like a seismograph’s recording of a violent and prolonged earthquake.
Getting the new signature recognized was no biggie. New Jersey is apparently pretty tolerant, more concerned that you vote regularly than whether you can hold a pen steady.
These days I have only the vaguest control over what the pen does. The lightning induced tremors only come out when I’m stressed, but there’s some significant nerve damage from other activities that results in some shaking.
Anyway, I submitted my ballot by mail weeks ago, no contest. Discovered that most of my family is voting for the felon because of the judges he’s appointed and his apparent interest in making America a theocracy. This from a man who is a serial adulterer, a confessed rapist, mocker of anyone who opposes him and just an all around evil monster.
Ugh.
Among the many strokes of good luck I have enjoyed all my life is the fact that no one in my family has that particular form of weird.
My wife just suggested we watch “The West Wing” again. I replied that it would be depressing, like reading letters from a dead lover.
We have a ranked choice initiative on our ballot (I’m in your neighboring state to the east)|that’s paired with an open primary clause. I can take or leave ranked choice, but I really want open primaries. If it passes, I can go back to registering as Democrat not to mention all the people who are independents could finally vote in a primary again.
Ah, so you’re a plant! Carry on. I understand why primaries aren’t open because after all people IN a party should choose their candidate, so maybe what we really want is something other than a two-party system and no primaries?
Ranked choice voting confuses me. It seems like a great way to throw a bunch of bad choices into a race and elevate the worst . I dunno.
But kill the electoral college and open primaries would be forward moves.
Here’s an explainer.
A group of people want to travel together, so they put together three options.
1 — go skiing; 2 — go hiking; 3 — attend a concert. Then they vote.
30% want to ski, and 30% want to hike, and 40% want to go to a concert.
So 60% want to either hike or ski.
Only 40% want to sit and listen.
Ranked Choice would allow the 60% to choose.
Kill the electoral college, eliminate gerrymandering, make voting as easy as possible. All good moves.
The late Senator of Indiana, Birch Bayh, sought to abolish the Electoral College, and almost succeeded, but he did succeed with Title IX.
I recently learned about Birch Bath from a podcast!
Stupid autocorrect: Bayh
In Colorado we’ve also had mail in ballots for many years with no sign of fraud.
This year we’re voting on ranked choice voting. I hope I get to see how well it works.
My signature is vastly different from many years ago when I first gave it. Every year I’m surprised it isn’t challenged.
I live in a red county in a hotly contested swing state. The pundits have predicted MAGA violence will take place at the polls this time, rather than at vote certification. I voted by mail. If there’s to be polling place violence, I’d expect some right here. Watch this space.
As they say.
“18 essentially compassionate sorts and one asshole” I burst out laughing at that one, I have a really good idea who you are referring to! I didn’t rank that one for sure.
My husband is from Europe, a citizen here for many years, but he can’t believe how we’ve still held on to the Electoral College.