Scientists have finally figured out what the Arthropleura’s head looks like, and I say it’s about time.
It’s always a satisfying feeling to learn of a problem you didn’t even know about and have it solved in the very same moment. According to the Associated Press, Arthropleura is the biggest bug that ever existed. Nine feet long, a hundred pounds. There was a picture. It looked like a centipede.
Right away I am squirming with a case of Acquired Crotchet Syndrome. That’s when something that wouldn’t ever have bothered you starts to stick in your craw because you know how much it bothers someone else. To wit: clearly Arthropleura is not a bug. Maybe most people refer to almost anything in the Arthropod phylum as a “bug,” but a number of people of my acquaintance would be stamping their feet and growling over their Cheerios about this reference, annoying their roommates, because they know True Bugs are in the Hemiptera order of insects, and this sucker clearly isn’t.
It’s not my crotchet, but I have strong empathy with fussbudgets. Fussbudgets will rail about people using “poisonous” and “venomous” interchangeably. Fussbudgets will lose their mind when they encounter someone who thinks kudos is the plural of kudo. It’s silly to get all worked up about these things, which are ultimately minor gaffes. (Although, ahem, there is no excuse for mixing up amphibians and reptiles.)
Anyway, the problem with this well-known fossil is that it is always missing a head, which goes a long way toward explaining why it’s extinct, I’d think. Apparently these fossils are of exoskeletons left behind when their inhabitants molt into the next-larger size, and they exit through the head and mess up the eventual fossil. The reason this is a problem for science, other than a sincere desire to get the drawing right, is that without the head they can’t figure out if the critter is related to centipedes or millipedes.
Perhaps many people would roll their eyes at the notion that this is something we need to clear up, but those same people will spend time and money to evict dandelions from their lawn or bags from under their eyes. Of course we need to know this. Paleontologists have been collecting these fossils for 150 years and wondering about the heads the whole time.
And now they’ve got a pretty good idea. There are much smaller versions of Arthropleura buried in the rock, probably two-inch juveniles, with heads on them, but their heads are too fragile to be successfully chipped out. Enter the CT scan, the marvelous invention that uses X-rays to reveal cancers, blood clots, and ancient arthropod heads.
Yes. The human being has evolved to the point of being able to accurately render the tiny head of a 300-million-year-old crawler, right down to the eye-stalks, curved antennae, and little mandibles, and determining the creature was most closely aligned with millipedes, but with a centipede-like head, except for the stalked eyes, which is not a known feature of either group, and suggests that—although terrestrial—the animal may have had an aquatic phase as a youngster.
This is something to celebrate. You’re not going to get a billionaire to show any interest unless he can ride a rocket to the fossil dig, but that’s his loss. We’re not going to learn anything more interesting than that today, and that’s a fact.
But it’s not a bug. Learn that too.
Well “Sieg Heil” to that!!!! Ahh – when I get excited, I can be awkward…
I’m happy to see that spelled it correctly.
that you spelled it
“The human being has evolved to the point of being able to accurately render the tiny head of a 300-million-year-old crawler, right down to the eye-stalks, curved antennae, and little mandibles, …”
and elect the fucker for a second time.
My crotchet: “to decimate” is not the equivalent of “to destroy”. It is “to decrease by 10%”.
Agreed, but if one is in the 10%, I guess that it is quite destructive in a personal way?
Well, it did once. Merriam Webster has a good article about that word.
It is that “once” to which I cling, as one does to a good crotchet.
My crotchet is when people say “where it’s at” instead of “where it is.” I’ve even heard highly educated people use this phrase, and I inwardly cringe every time.
Mine is “less” and “fewer”. My daughter tries to convince me that that ship has sailed, but I can’t help myself.
LOL! Mine, too! I once was in a dressing room of a consignment shop, and a sign on the door said “6 items or less”. Well, I immediately took my pen out of my purse, crossed off “less,” and wrote in “fewer.”
Maybe the ship HAS sailed. But if the ship is the Titanic, you’re better off not being on it. It’s bad enough that I don’t understand what icons on the computer are supposed to symbolize until I drag the cursor over it and exclaim over how it doesn’t look at all like what it’s supposed to represent. At least make SOME concessions to us crotchets, people!
(Ha! I thought of another crotchet! We and us. I and me. Confusing the subjective with the objective. I was taught these things by nuns. Can you tell?)
Talking heads who use “reticent” when they mean “reluctant.” Brits who use “brilliant” to mean far lesser qualities. People who use “awesome” to mean far lesser qualities. Everybody who uses “beg the question” incorrectly, even though that is now nearly everybody.
I am not above, and will consistently continue, yelling, “NO IT DOESN’T!!!” when I hear, “It begs the question…” when the speaker really means ‘raise the question’.
Ask any politician their opinion of gun control. Their answer is usually the ultimate in “begging the question”.
We crotchety people are only hurting ourselves though.
Dammit, Murr! You already hit all of my kvetching points!
Oh, Bruce! SURELY you have MORE! LOL!
I just learned that I am not as much a fussbudget as a Crotchet. Learning is good.
Fussbudget? Crotchet? And here I thought I was a curmudgeon!
Oh, Sweetie… you are ALL those things! Don’t limit yourself!
I bet you say that to ALL the boys!
Leslie, you are not a crotchet. You HAVE crotchets.
Nine feet long and a hundred pounds? Bet there’s some good eating on one of those. (I’m thinking hundred pound lobster with dozens of legs.)
Is it wrong of me that I am salivating at the prospect?
If it’s a millipede, you probably don’t want to eat it. Every one I’ve ever encountered pumps out a powerful odor. Think stink bug crossed with ozone.
Ah, Bruce! But I am an adventurous eater. I pride myself on never having not tried a food due to some aversion. Even as a child, I was like, “Sure… I’ll try that!”
As a child, I was all “Mimi’ll take it.”
Too bad they existed before butter!
The arthropleura lobsters, that is…
All along I have been wondering what crocheting had to do with anything until Murr commented, “We crotchety people are only hurting ourselves though.” Then I had to scroll back to the original usage. It all began to make sense, which with Murr is surprising, but reassuring.😘
Please, crochet away!
In my earlier career, I had the delightful role of creating employee recognition events and programs. One of the things we made was a newsletter that reported nice things said about our employees by our clients. The publication was named KUDOZ! in big, bright letters, including the exclamation point.