Prominent Republicans have joined Democrats in decrying the attack on Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband Paul yesterday, with many additionally sending thoughts and prayers to the family. This is only possible, we are reminded, because of Republican efforts to keep the Strategic Prayer Reserve topped up following the most recent of this year’s 257 school shootings. “This is the sort of forward-thinking action that Americans have come to expect from us,” explained a source from the Republican National Committee. “And it was done with no support—none—from Congressional Democrats.”
Threats against politicians have more than doubled in the last five years, although leaders of both parties disagree on the reasons. Democrats tend to blame violent, irresponsible, and divisive rhetoric from the right, whereas Republicans are more apt to point out that vaccine requirements and mask mandates for a hoax virus are inextricably linked to the rise. “Americans love their freedom,” explained Florida governor Ron DeSantis. “They’re not going to just sit back and allow it to be taken from them.”
Statistically, threats against Democrats from far-right agitators vastly outnumber threats to Republicans from the left, although numerous politicos rushed to remind us about that one guy who popped a cap in GOP Whip Steve Scalise during a Congressional softball game practice. “Don’t be fooled by facts from the New York Times,” one commentator added. “The threat is real. Just last week Rep. Jim Jordan was approached by a protestor wielding an NPR T-shirt cannon which, thankfully, failed to detonate. Later he was the subject of many sharply worded editorials,” she said.
Others pointed out the poisoned atmosphere surrounding left-wing radical attempts to require the teaching of History in school. “And they’re starting in the elementary schools, too,” exclaimed one Florida parent who requested anonymity. “Hateful stuff.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was more reserved in his reaction, denouncing the violent attack on Mr. Pelosi. “There’s no excuse for it in our society,” he murbled. “There are many different ways to hurt people without resorting to physical violence, such as undercutting attempts to rein in Big Pharm, taking away a woman’s right to choose, and continuing to support our time-honored system of mass incarceration. Under Republican leadership, major efforts in planetary devastation are already being implemented, and we’re well on the way to tanking the entire food chain and dismantling our natural hydrological cycle, which we anticipate will lead to even greater efficiencies of depopulation down the road. Hrmph hrmph.”
Minority leader Kevin McCarthy was not willing to comment on an ongoing investigation into the attack but noted that a false-flag operation involving Antifa could not be ruled out. “The perpetrator is in custody,” he noted, “and so we anticipate learning quite a bit more about him and his motivations. Often as not, in these cases, we find the criminal is suffering from derangement due to complications from vaccines.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene bristled at accusations that her reference to Nancy Pelosi as a “traitor” was at least in part to blame. “The Constitution says I can say any damn fool thing I want,” she fired. “I can’t be held responsible if one nut with a hammer decides to take the law into his own hands. The Constitution is clear that death is the proper punishment for treason, but only after we conduct an investigation and some sort of trial in a court of law can we legally hang her wrinkled ass.”
A slab of mascara calved off and chunked onto the microphone.
“The fact is,” she thundered blondely, “none of this would have happened if Mr. Nancy had been armed like a patriot. It’s California. He’s lucky there was still enough funding for a couple policemen.” She patted her holster.
“Yeah!” enthused Ted Cruz, waving in the background.
“He’s recovering in a hospital now, if it is the real Mr. Pelosi,” she went on. “We still don’t know about that. There’s evidence Nancy Pelosi has been dead since 2019 and the deepfake machine has been working overtime since Biden, who is also dead, stole the election.”
“What I like to do is see it and everything and stuff,” put in Herschel Walker, running for Dumbest R Ever, although his chances are considered slim with Louis Gohmert still in da House. “One thing I know, no reason going after our guns when you can git ‘er done with a hammer.”
I’m currently reading a fascinating book about social media. It’s called The Chaos Machine: The Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Minds and Our World by Max Fisher. The more people who are on social media, and the longer they are on it, the more money SM gets from advertisers. So when you get a “news feed,” you get the more divisive stories. And if you type “vaccine” into a search engine, the things that come up first are conspiracy theories, because this is what keeps people on there longer, and everything they click on is more money for social media. Facebook alone takes in more money than the major banks or ExxonMobil. The “like” button and all the notifications are to keep you on there. And if your post doesn’t get enough “likes,” you feel bad. So you adapt your posts to get more “likes.” Apparently, the average person spends about an hour on SM, and scrolls through their smart phone around 150 times a day!
There were always psychopathic nut jobs out there. But social media has given them a “tribe,” where they get get together and meet up and do great damage to our society, as we have seen. And even scarier: the CEOs of these companies KNOW that this is happening, but as long as making our society divisive rakes in big bucks for them, they are okay with it.
I probably spend that amount of time on social media, but at least I don’t use my phone? Uh…
I’m getting the book. Thanks.
You’ll love it! I don’t like dry stuff, and this isn’t dry. I got it from the library, and I’m gobbling it down.
There is no bottom for Republicans. They are collectively the worst people on earth.
They are cartoonishly horrible.
This was pretty brilliant stuff, Murr… had to go back and read it again just for the sad enjoyment of it. It’s hard to fathom that a good portion of our country are hanging on to the words of these would-be tyrants, I miss the days when we all took the words of Walter Cronkite as gospel.
OMG, yes! Even though I was a kid, I still remember him as the newsman one could trust. I remember when he broke the news about Kennedy dying, and how he wasn’t afraid to show his emotions. Our “news” people today are just pretty and vapid. Our “newspapers” are basically tabloids (except for the NYT!) Where do I get my news? Why, from the comedians, of course! Colbert, Oliver, Maher. (The only way I can not cry when I hear the news is to have a lot of sarcasm to go with.)
We were a Huntley-Brinkley family, but yes.
I added my comment just before you added yours, Murr. I withdraw the first sentence!!
Now that I read the time stamps, I am mystified by the sequence.
No one ever mentions Huntley and Brinkley any more. [sigh] And today nobody, but NOBODY, would even consider using the second movement of Beethoven’s 9th as theme music for a news show.
Loved this podcast about music on news shows!
https://gimletmedia.com/shows/every-little-thing/wbhj97/six-oclock-soundtrack
Mitch “murbled.” Too good! This is one of your best and most scathing commentaries ever. You should be writing for “The Daily Show.” This is way better than Andy Borowitz.
I had it as “murfled” at first. Went back and forth.
Satire at it’s best- unfortunately. Thanks
All I can say is that I have three hammers, including a tiny sledge, to protect myself from intruders. And the Beatles soundtrack to scare intruders.
If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, but after nine o’clock, so as not to annoy the neighbors.
Very sad what happened – can stupidity and confidence be defeated?
Maybe, but then things get stolen again.
autocracy has such weight….again, thank you for your thoughtful musings…and wonderful posts.
Thank you.
One wonders what these people were like as children. Did their parents raise them to be like this or is there something in the water?
It probably was a nascent tendency, but social media set it ablaze. (See book reccie above. It’a an eye-opener.)
Could be the water. The Republicans don’t think there’s a problem with water as long as they can still buy it bottled.
I wonder something. I’ve for sure got too much time I spend on limited social media, FB mostly. I look at various pages, Speaker Pelosi, the two Senators from Montana, a few others. I do look at the comments, I find it peculiar that on the GOP (formerly grand) sites the majority of comments are from Dems, dissing the poster, same with the Dem sites, it’s the maga crowd dissing the poster. On Pelosi’s site, since the hammer attack on her husband, there have been numerous, lots and lots, of posts wishing that she had been there, she had been attacked, that the attacker had ‘finished the job’ on her husband….
I wonder this.. Do the posters have a jeckle and hyde existence, where they are one person on social media, another in their ‘real’ life? I’ve taken time to look at several of the posters of the hate comments pages…yes, I have far too much free time..and many show posts of them with their children or grandchildren…(all white, all wholesome looking)…do they tell them “Hey kids, guess what I did today…I wrote that a 80+ year old man should have been killed! Isn’t that great?” Or, “Hey kids, I wrote today that a 80+ plus year old woman should have been beaten to death! Cool, huh?”
It’s more an academic wonder, it won’t change my thinking. Just as nothing changes their thinking, nothing changes mine.
Cheers!
Again… the book I am reading and recommending explains it all. And we can’t put the genie back in the bottle. This is life now. I’ll be glad to be out of here soon.
I’ve found very few things, books or people, who can ‘explain it all’.
Okay… maybe not “it all”, but it addresses the queries you brought up in great detail.
Great post. Thank you. As good as Stephen Colbert and similar in giving me comfort in these dark times.
Mimi, I Just ordered the book, thanks!
As per Bob D; “Right on target, so direct!”