On the one hand, we are taught that we are all God’s children and everyone is equally worthy before the Lord. On the other hand, the Lord is a little random about the distribution of his blessings and afflictions. Seems to me we’re just taking somebody’s hopeful word for the worthiness thing, without a lot of evidence from God to back it up.
What are we worth? Betty Grable famously insured her legs for an unthinkable $34,000, enough to buy a mansion then, or two months of nursing care now. Miley Cyrus insured her tongue for a smooth million. She is said to have developed quite a strong attachment to her tongue, which is just about the least you should ask for, in a personal tongue relationship. Clearly some people, even parts of some people, are worth more than others, although how much money they have to begin with tends to write that script.
Lawsuits are another good way to determine who’s worth what. Really, without the legal profession, we don’t know how much value to slap on a human. That became clear in the recent case here of an unfortunate cancer patient, John Murdoch, who was undergoing surgery for a tracheostomy. That’s bad to begin with. My dad had throat cancer and a tracheostomy, and the whole ordeal was grisly start to finish. He didn’t complain too much, especially after his larynx was removed, but he scribbled furiously, and illegibly. You’d think it was just about one of the worst things you could endure.
Unless, during the surgery, your face caught fire.
Mr. Murdoch’s face burst into flame midway through the surgery, a result of a stray spark from the instrument and isopropyl alcohol that hadn’t been allowed to dry. He is no longer with us, and his family sued the doctor and the hospital for $900,000. Which struck me, honestly, as a little low. He must have been sort of unattractive, I found myself thinking. Not that I’m proud of that. Or of this:
It reminded me of the poor fellow whose finger was cut off by a lawnmower blade. I was on the jury for that one, in which the victim was suing Kubota for enough money to take down the whole company. We didn’t find in his favor; it was pretty clear he’d tried to clear a clog in the machine by picking it up from underneath while the blades were running. Not that it should matter, but he also looked dim-witted in the extreme, his eyes at half-mast and his head the size of a yam. In the part of the trial when damages were being assessed, he was asked what he couldn’t do, now that he was missing a finger. No surprise to us jurors, he was not a concert violinist. The only thing he could think of was that he couldn’t climb the ladder to the attic to get the Christmas decorations for the kids. Oh no! we all thought. He had kids!
Well, I don’t want to be on record as saying some people are worth less than others. But just between you and me, although we may very well be equal in the eyes of the Lord, the fact is there are people I wouldn’t miss if they dropped into a sinkhole. If they drowned in rising sea. If they got et by an alligator on their own golf course.
We as a nation just lost a very, very good human. And we’ve elevated one without a redeeming feature to his name. That’s just a fact: doesn’t matter where the flag rests on the flagpole.
“et by an alligator” ? We can only hope his VP and advisors are with him for the dinner.
And the Speaker of the House!
I’m not sure who is in line after that. Secretary of State? Remember that fight when Reagan got shot and the Veep was out of town, so SofS Haig jumped up at the microphone and said he was in charge?
President of the Senate. Then Secretary of State. Haig always did think highly of himself.
It’s going to take a super big alligator to clean up this swamp.
“Oh no! we all thought. He had kids!” Still laughing.
Actually the verse that people use as proof that we’re all equal in God’s sight merely asserts that we are all one and was used to put an end to the assertion that Jews were extra special in God’s sight. This was an early Church doctrinal issue with Paul proclaiming that the Gospel was for everyone and Peter saying it was just for Jews. Paul’s version of Christianity ended up taking precedence over Peter’s, which makes the Catholic Church’s claim that Peter was the first Pope a bit absurd.
You can take the boy out of the seminary, but…
Kinda hard to shut down thirty three years of Christian teaching and reading the Bible cover to cover annually for over twenty years.
“It reminded me of the poor fellow whose finger was cut off…he had kids” is one of the most perfect paragraphs ever written.
I wonder what I couldn’t do with nine fingers. I guess it depends which nine.
I’ve worked with various combinations of nine fingers for years. It gets a little tough if your thumb is outa commission, but you can work with just three fingers and a thumb. What’s hard is if you’re down to one hand. At that point you may as well go back to bed.
Django!
I read an interesting book on the historical Jesus – Zealot: the life and times of Jesus of Nazareth by Reza Aslan. It makes the point that the reason that Paul’s version became the church we have today is because Jesus brother and his Jewish disciples who ran the church after the crucifixon, and all the other Jews of that time, were destroyed by the Romans. Since Paul wrote all those letters and Jesus brother James only wrote one, the writings of Paul became the basis for what the church became.
Sometimes when I feel like playing with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and they start citing Bible references, I tell them, “Whoa, whoa, now! I already stated that I’m an atheist. I asked about proof of what you’re saying. And you cite bible verses?” Usually they say, “But it’s the word of god, so therefore it’s true.” And i come back with, “It’s a work of fiction. Pretty much a less awesome version of The Lord of the Rings.” They just blink vapidly at me, as the Bible is undoubtedly the ONLY book they’ve ever read, and would consider fantasy novels to be the work of the devil.
Religion is just a way of keeping people in line. It certainly doesn’t make you a better person. The Republican party is proof of THAT. But atheists are considered “evil.” You know what THIS “evil” atheist did today? I have a lot of Paul’s stuff put aside for a garage sale in the spring. But when I went to my local library yesterday, I saw a sign and a container for warm clothing for the homeless. Now, Paul was always chilly, so he had a lot of warm stuff. I culled it from the rest of the garage sale items, filled a HUGE garbage bag, and took it over to the library donation bin. He would have liked that. He had a hard-knock kinda life when he was a teen. As temps are going to be frigid this week, I would rather give these items to people who really have nothing than get a few bucks for them from a garage sale. And the GOP? They are threatening Los Angeles to withhold money to give to the people who have LITERALLY lost everything. And THESE are Christians? I think that it is much better to do good because you have empathy than to do good because you fear punishment from “God.”
end/rant
I don’t suppose it’s a popular sentiment, but I kind of like Jehovah’s Witnesses. Every one I’ve met has been a real sweetheart. I even invite them in. And they’ve been pretty cool about taking “No thanks” for an answer. They’re kind of fun to talk to. A lot more fun than Scientologists, for instance. I shut down a pair of them once when they accosted me with “Have you ever wondered what the meaning of life is?” and I said “Nuh-uh.” Which is the truth.
Mormons are some of the nicest people I know. Really bizarre doctrine, but still really nice people. I’ve never had any JoHos turn up on my doorstep, just a bunch of really sweet Hispanic ladies who somehow found the name of the last owner and wanted to invite me to their church. And a Hasidic person who kept calling and leaving messages, again because there was a mailing list that said a Hasidic lived here (but never did).
My favorite is when they ask, “have you found Jesus?” “Is he missing AGAIN? Maybe he needs someone to look after him.”
Favorite bumper sticker: “I found Jesus. He was behind the couch the whole time.”
“Lassie, go find Timmy! I bet he fell down the well… again.”
“Lassie, bring 16 feet of rope and a box of matches!”
I will talk with JWs but I tell them they can’t use the Bible as proof. My last visitors were a lovely couple who switched to garden talk after I assured them I was an unbeliever.
There is no meaning, life just is.
I thought S0fS was Son of Satan…
It could mean both things. And probably does.
By the way, those fancy Victor mouse traps that were discussed a few weeks ago, which I ordered online and set out with bait made of peanut butter, dog kibble and bacon grease, haven’t captured a single victim. Oh.
you should sue the commenters! 0h, wait . . . .
Have you checked to see if the bait pan is too stiff? Sometimes they need a little adjustment to make them hair trigger.
Are you still seeing activity otherwise?
Unfortunately, yes, their little turds are scattered about. 🙁
Oh darn. This is when I revert to poison. If I wasn’t allergic, I’d revert to cats. Ferrets might work too.
Also glue traps. I put a dot of peanut butter in the middle to lure them in. And tape the trap to the floor to keep them from squirming away with it.
I get good results with just peanut butter (one of the brands with nothing but peanuts and salt) mixed with birdseed.
I’ve had good luck with Dove chocolate promises.