A number of states that don’t include mine are offering a free phone app to help you know how terrified you should be that you’ve been exposed to COVID-19. And if you have been, you can choose to take proper precautions such as isolating yourself or hiding in the closet sucking your thumb or beginning to take the precautions you hadn’t bothered with before, or something. I’m not sure what I’d do with the information. I’d prefer something more immediate like a live warning system that you’re about to get too close to an infected person. Something along the lines of that exploding dye packet that they put in the ransom money.
I also fail to remember that most people use their phones for way more than communicating with people. That’s just about all I can do on mine. They say it’s “smart,” but that’s just so as not to damage its self-esteem. Every time I try to download an app it tells me it’s way too small to have such a big app shoved into it, and I should consider unloading something first, even though there’s nothing in it. It’s just a bulimic little piece of shit, is what it is. As a consequence I have learned to live without most of the life-simplifiers that litter our brainscape. I’ll still walk a few miles to a store and find out it doesn’t carry what I want and say Thanks Anyway and walk home again, and feel no sense of betrayal. Other people wave their phones in the air and get the nearest pizza paid for and dropped by drone through the sunroof while they’re still driving. They check their blood pressure and then they check their portfolio and then probably their blood pressure again, and meanwhile I don’t even check to see if anyone called once I get home, which is where my phone is, probably.