There’s a charity out there that provides school desks to children in Malawi. I didn’t even know it was a need. Shoes, food, books, computers, all that seemed more like the ticket.
But then again I never went without a school desk. When I think back, they really were pretty cool. For one thing, you got your very own. For a kid who didn’t have much in the way of possessions, having your very own desk felt affirming. Not only that, but every year you’d get new possessions, your own eraser, your own set of pencils and a pencil case, a black-and-white-mottled composition book, a protractor…it was just an extraordinary wealth of things that belonged to you, and you got to put them in your own desk that was yours for the whole year. You were Post-Toddling. You had Arrived.
But if you didn’t have your own desk, you’d have to sit cross-legged on the floor and remember everything. What could you carve your initials into? How would you scratch your nethers or excavate your underpants without anyone noticing? Where would you stick your gum?
I never had gum. So gum disposal was not important.
Boogers, sure.
I think I remember where my desk was in Miss Whitten’s first-grade class. I believe I was three seats back on the right side of the room. Marooj Abass sat in front of me and borrowed my big brown eraser and returned it, smirking, in the form of a couple of crumbs. That was the first time anyone was ever mean to me, even though I had older siblings, and I had no idea what to do about it—the whole concept was foreign. I believe I just sniffled through the remainder of the day.
I’m not sure I ever got to be three rows back again until I was out of grade school. One way or another, I was in front. I was short, and my name started with a B. There was no hiding.
That first desk was wooden. In third grade they got fancy. We all had Formica-topped desks. I heard the Formica came from counter cut-outs for sinks. Even then that struck me as an ingenious use of resources. And your desk was different from everyone else’s. It might be a light gray with black boomerangs as opposed to a sunny yellow with orange boomerangs. The possibilities were endless.
There was a day toward the end of the year devoted to cleaning. You had to scrub out all the scribbles on your desk and scrape off the gum and boogers. And you had to go page by page in your textbooks erasing all the pencil marks you might have put in all year so someone could use them the next year. The books didn’t change much, I guess. Robert E. Lee was still the greatest Amurrican that ever lived and all the math was still old math.
In Junior High desks were different in that you didn’t get to keep your own all day long so some of the scribbling wasn’t yours, and there might be more dirty words involved. Gum was still not an issue but with the desk as a shield you could adjust your sanitary napkin belt surreptitiously. Or write notes about who you were in love with and try to pass them to your best friend across the aisle, except Mike intercepted it and ran around the class holding it in the air hooting and threatening to read it out loud until you just wanted to die, or get tall enough to snatch it back, which not only did not happen in a timely manner, it never happened at all.
I didn’t know about crotch-kicking at the time.
I’m not sure when the desks showed up that were all one piece with the desktop part of the side arm, but it does seem to be one more excruciating development for fat kids. That wasn’t my issue. My issue was getting big enough to snatch notes out of the air and pop Mike in the schnozz. He had an unusual name. I just looked him up. He’s a writer living in Hawaii. Isn’t that special?
Isn’t Hawaii due to go underwater?
Oh, my goodness! I know that I FINALLY slept through the night Monday, but did I totally miss Tuesday, and wake up on Wednesday?
Anyhoo, I remember being teased mercilessly in school, too. I was — and still am — very short. I never had siblings, so I didn’t understand teasing, and would cry or get upset, which made them tease more. They only left me alone when I reached over and scratched them on the cheek. (I didn’t know about the nut-kick back then either.) Undoubtedly, retaliating in this fashion would have resulted in litigation nowadays.
My bad. I scheduled it a day early because I’m retired and don’t know what day it is. And I don’t think I ever once physically lashed out at anyone. It never occurs to me.
To be fair, I didn’t know about sarcasm back then.
We moved a lot so I was usually the new girl. That gave me an advantage with the boys, not so much the girls. Also very short. I would enter the class for the first time and hear the whispers, “She is so small.” But again that was an advantage, no boy was “too short” for me.
Interesting that Mike seems to have done well. Not quite fair.
True to form, my memories are hazy or absent except for the humiliations…
Boogers? People really did that? Gum wasn’t allowed in class in my schools, everyone entering had to spit out their gum in the bin by the door, most of us didn’t even have gum anyway. We had double wide desks with two kids sitting on the bench seat and sharing the divided under section to slide your belongings into. We didn’t have the lift up lid type. I often didn’t understand teasing either and just stuck my nose further into my book.
I had forgotten the lids lifted up. The wooden desks, anyway–did the Formica ones do it too? Must’ve.
We were forced to sit at tables instead of desks for the very first time in 6th grade science class. It was terrible. I was made to sit with a girl who was not to my taste at all, as I wasn’t to her. I was in orchestra, and she was in band. She played tennis (tennis?!!) of all things, and had the coolest tote bags (dorky me had a backpack), and while I had pencils and pens from my mom’s recycling/hoarding drawer she had all the fancy mechanical pencils and pens.
We looked at each other, sized up the situation, and each decided that there was only one thing to be done–we each reached into our bags and pulled out a Trixie Belden book and ignored the entire situation at hand. We’re still best buds. Thank the fates for ditching the desks and forcing us to sit at that table.
I do like that story!
Speaking as a B, — both first and last name, so it didn’t matter — I was also almost always on the far right. Too tall to sit in front, tho.
You got to be in the back row for photos. I only wish. Ever notice how in the group photos the girls are always lined up in front with their hands folded over what they assume are their big bellies?
There was a girl in my 4th grade class who had excruciating, paralyzing shyness. Her name was Barbara. I recall a particular day when we were having a spelling test, and as with all such tests, the teacher dictated the words and we were to write them down in a column on our small yellow paper pads. Barbara’s yellow pad had run out just as the test was starting. The room was almost silent as the teacher started reading out the words, all of us with our heads down and pencils working, but Barbara had nowhere to write her words, and she was too shy to speak up or wave her hand. I could see her getting more and more upset as the teacher progressed from one word to the next. The teacher could see what was taking place, but wanted to push Barbara into asking for another pad! This seemingly simple act of speaking up for one’s self was something Barbara wasn’t able to do.
I wonder where Barbara is now. Dear Classmate — if I could give you a case of yellow pads, I would.
Aw, man.
I was sitting here thinking “Murr has a darn good memory” but then the more I thought of it, I could easily see my desk in different grades. In third grade, we were having an “Open House” where our parents were coming in one night to check out our classroom. We hung drawings and a giant WELCOME & stuff, and our teacher told us it would probably be a good time to clean out our desks. The following morning when we came to school, all our desks had a taped postcard on the upper right corner. Mr. Porter said he had asked our parents to leave us a personal note, telling us what they thought. My friend TR sat on my left, Nancy on my right. The three of us had neglected to clean out our desks. TR’s mom left him an angry note that he had embarrassed her, and she found his drawing “See Mee Pee”, and had taken it to show his dad. I felt bad, TR had this thing in the boys room where he liked to stand 2-3 feet back from the urinal and “pee a rainbow” so I drew a picture of it and given it to him. Nancy’s card, also written by her mom, said she “kept terrible house” and no man wanted a lazy wife, it really made her cry. I was terrified to turn my card over, I knew my mom had a fierce temper. When I did, it said I was one of the funniest and most creative people she knew and she loved me very much. Shocked the hell out of me. And finally, we moved after that year to a farm and new school district. 9 years later, my senior year, I took my SATS at the local college, and ran into several kids I’d went to school with from K-3 also taking the SAT. Two of them were TR & Nancy, and they both remembered my mom’s note.
Your mom’s note actually made me tear up. What a wonderful mom she must have been!
Thank you Mimi! I didn’t mean to make her sound saintly or anything, believe me she could really let us have it! But she was awesome at seeing potential in each of us too.
I can’t imagine a parent writing shaming notes like that! No wonder people grow up and invade other countries.
My early childhood was spent in Virginia, where we also learned in school that Robert E. Lee was the greatest Amurrican who ever lived. After moving north of the Mason-Dixon Line I tried explaining this to many folks, none of whom really understood … or believed me. So, recently, upon visiting Richmond, I was delighted to drive down Monument Avenue and see with m6own eyes that the imposing statues of Mr. Lee, his horse, and all the other horses asses had been removed.
And I lived right off Lee Highway which is now Langston Boulevard!
And Jefferson Davis Highway is now Patriot Highway.
I’m shocked that any parent would leave such a terrible note to their kids, like TR and Nancy. That sort of conversation should be at home, not in the classroom where kids would be humiliated. I love the note from your mum.
That comment was for Doug 🙂
In elementary school we had the option to go home for lunch or brown bag it in the gym and purchase milk for three cents. There was no cafeteria and consequently no cafeteria ladies. Our desks had hinged lids so quite often I ate my entire lunch behind my ‘lunch blind’ well before noon. Still feeling peckish I would race home, eat my second lunch (should I call it dinner?) and race back to the schoolyard to play baseball before the afternoon bell. I think I was a bit chubby despite all that racing and play. I still can’t believe I wasn’t snitched out. It certainly didn’t work that way with everything else I did that followed.
LOL! You must have gone to a Catholic elementary school, because this totally describes my school. No cafeteria, either brown bag lunches or go home, hinged desk lids.
And yet another LOL: are you by any chance a Hobbit? Second lunch! I suppose your first “lunch” could be called “elevenses.” (Yes, I AM a Tolkien geek.)
Yes! We brought lunch in a brown bag and the milk carton was three cents. Kids would try to get the milk carton with the red-ink sell-by date and call it strawberry. It was the luck of the draw. Doggone, we were easily amused. Now people can play so many things on devices they’re REALLY hard to amuse.
Two things to add:
1. About teasing, I was a shy girl and younger than my classmates. I particularly remember one boy in about 4th grade who kept teasing me unmercifully. I tearfully told my daddy about it, and he wisely told me that (a) it probably meant he liked me (ICK!), and (b) the best defense was to dish it right back to him. So I became pretty quick on the draw at a verbal comeback, and the situation soon let up. It’s a skill that’s served me well ever since.
2. In second grade, there was a boy named Robby who had put a praying mantis egg case in his desk (the kind with the hinged top). I don’t suppose anybody knew about that until the day the thing hatched, and Robby suddenly had hundreds of baby mantises that had crawled out of the desk and into his t-shirt. I don’t remember the whole resolution, but the teacher escorted a very twitchy Robby outdoors in short order. I had the luxury of thinking it was pretty funny because my desk was nowhere near his.
Are you permanently moving to Tuesday from Wednesday for your weekday posts?
Oh gosh no. I did it totally by accident. I put in Wednesday’s and Saturday’s posts every week on the Monday before. This time I merely forgot what the date was. Not only that–I walked a mile to a local grade school for a photo of a school desk, but of course I was locked out, and then I walked in the rain another couple miles to a school that had been transformed into a school-themed brewpub, and they didn’t have a single desk. Then I resolved to steal a photo off the internet but forgot about it until 11:30 at night (the posts go in at 3am) and I found a couple old pictures to scan but my scanner wouldn’t work, so I ended up stealing a photo off the internet anyway, and THEN discovered the dang post was up already, sans photo! The stuff I do for y’all.
I had a wooden desk in elementary school. It had a space inside for books and things, but also a couple of holes drilled near where the legs were mounted. Naturally, I got my finger stuck in one. The janitor came by with some liquid soap to help me escape from its clutches. I must have been embarrassed, but it was about 60 years ago so I don’t remember.
As soon as you mentioned the holes I had a vivid memory of sticking my finger in a hole of just the right size and pulling it out with a pop. Now, where would that have been?
Which elementary school did you attend? I went to Christ Our King — not because my parents were particularly religious, but because my mom thought it provided a better education. And, indeed, when I got to junior high (Mount Pleasant), I didn’t have to study anything for a year and a half. I was way ahead of the secular kids. Of course, I got cocky, and didn’t study the NEW stuff, so my grades fell precipitously.
Me? John Marshall Elementary. And Taylor Elementary for 5, 6. Arlington, Virginia.
I had a similar thing happen in college. I got mono (a whole nother story) but kept up with my engineering classes for a while because my three roommates were in the same classes. I ended up dropping my core classes and taking them again next semester. At the beginning I was so far ahead that I didn’t study until too late and had to drop them again. I never did get a degree.
I have dreams like this.
Actually, I meant Jono. We both grew up in Delaware, and I still live there.
Faulk Road Elementary, the Forwood Jr. High, then finishing off at Brandywine H.S. How’bout you?
P.S. I’m pretty sure that the elementary and jr. high schools are gone now.
Christ Our King at 28th & Madison (now defunct), then Mt. Pleasant Junior and Senior High. Unfortunately, some of the bullies that taunted me in elementary school also went to MTP. So I did not have a “clean slate.” It was pretty much like elementary school, only the pile was deeper and the shovels were smaller.
I remember that Brandywine was considered our “nemesis.” Why they have to instill this attitude in the name of “team spirit” is beyond me.
I was reminded (by the news, sadly) “ducking and covering” like the desk was going to save us from atomic bombs, five miles from the Pentagon. Right? A semiprivate place to kiss one’s ass goodbye at best. My belief that Vlad won’t waste a bomb on central Maine is only so comforting this month.
Is that photo Taylor Elementary?
I think most of these things that are supposed to “protect” us, like ducking and covering are just theater. It’s a way of making you FEEL safe in what is NOT a safe situation. They just don’t want people to panic. Particularly kids, because they are MOST annoying when they panic.
No, that photo is stolen from the internet after a REALLY concerted effort to provide my own scan or photo. Jeez. It wasn’t a good day for me, putting-in-blog-post-wise.
I was reminded (by the news, sadly) “ducking and covering” like the desk was going to save us from atomic bombs, five miles from the Pentagon. Right? A semiprivate place to kiss one’s ass goodbye at best. My belief that Vlad won’t waste a bomb on central Maine is only so comforting this month.
Is that photo Taylor Elementary?
Oops, your reply is above, Steve!
Omg the reference to “adjusting the sanitary belt” sparked a painful sense memory of that toothy thing in the back digging into flesh. These Kids Today and their fancy stick-on pads have no idea.
Yeah, but on the other hand, young human females of my acquaintance wear reusable washable pads. Kow-tow…
Thanks, Murr — your whole post made me nostalgic about some happy if awkward times. I was coincidentally looking at an old high school yearbook the other day and there at the end was a photo of this poor kid whose last name was “Zinn.” Mr. Zinn spent his entire Elementary, Jr. High and High School career being the last in everything — yearbooks, desk assignments, graduation marches — whatever it was that we had to line up for alphabetically. At least he seemed to take it good-naturedly. I’ll bet he sometimes faces the same thing in his adult life.
I think I’d be comfortable as a Z.
Surprised no one mentioned Lawrence O’ Donnell on MSNBC weeknights. He sponsors this charity which supplies Desks for the Melawi girls especially because their people don’t educate the girls, mainly boys.
The charity also helps girls to move on in their education to become doctors, teachers, lawyers, anything in higher education and to give them a boost in life.
You know, I put in a link to his charity (it’s associated with UNICEF) in the very first line but apparently it didn’t “take.” I’ll try again and see if I can update. (I probably did it but didn’t click on “update.” Still getting used to this site…)
Oh wow. I checked, and I’d totally done it. But unless you hover over the word “charity” in the first sentence it doesn’t light up. Now that’s not helpful! The link is in fact in there, though.