These days it’s more important than ever to stay informed. Everyone says so. We must be intelligent consumers of the news, able to discern fact from fiction in a world that aims to deceive. That’s right. News is something we consume. Not sure what happens to it down the line.
Say you find something interesting, something serious, something from a famously thoughtful journal, and you click on it. You settle back. It’s a comprehensive review of judicial and recent stippled history as it pertains to the current ascendancy of the alt-elf estate, with bonus analysis by highly ornamental exports in the field of cross-germinated flagitation. You concentrate on the first few paragraphs, consuming away in a righteous state, brow furrowed, and when it doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to wrap up, you start to wonder how long is this, and you glance over at the scroll bar, just to see exactly what sort of commitment is being asked of you, and that little dingus is way up there on the page, and then you go back in for another paragraph or so, soldiering away, but it’s troubling, and then you give that scroll bar a big spin like Wheel of Fortune, and holy moly but it’s a long one, and so you bookmark the page and file it away in your online hidey-hole of worthy things you mean to read sometime, which is nearly as virtuous as reading it, and have to recuperate with a video of kittens falling off things.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Because these days it’s more important than ever to monitor your information diet so as not to damage delicate emotional tissues. It’s not that you don’t want to stay informed but sometimes a glancing blow of news is good enough. Get the gist, enough to fill in the right bubbles on the ballot, and move on with your life. Fortunately there are ways to gauge your level of involvement before it’s too late.
For instance, listen to the language in the first few moments of a radio broadcast. They’ll tell you what you’re in for right up front. It’s a good sign if the host of a show is going to have a conversation around something. Or if he is interviewing someone and asks for help to get his head around an issue. Or even wrap it around. You can anticipate a pretty easy data dump here–a moderate but not insurmountable degree of information is headed your way. If you’re lucky, they’ll even do some spitballing, or they’ll offer to circle back.
But use caution if someone is planning to unpack a story. That can get grisly in a hurry. Before you know it, they’ll threaten to drill down or, worse, do a deep dive. You might want to back off and change the dial until you find someone willing to give you the takeaway.
The takeaway is really where it’s at, but keep your instincts sharp; if the conclusion is anything other than “The future still remains to be seen,” or “No one expects that to change anytime soon,” you might be getting into some suspect content there.
In troubled times, you’re probably safest just getting your news from snappy memes on social media. These are designed to be short, sassy, and to the point. Your friend might post it with the single comment “This.” Or, look for something that ends in “Think about it. Take all the time you need.” This will generally be a slam-dunk absurdity and, usually, a shout-out to the choir, which should puff out your righteousness sails for minutes at a time.
For even more pointed commentary, look for the words “Let that sink in.”
There! That didn’t take long! Now you know which bubbles to fill in, you’ve limited your exposure to abrasive reality, and you’re back in kitten territory.