What a week. We’ve got a federal judge stating that Donald Trump likely committed crimes in his effort to remain in power. We’ve got a Supreme Court Justice all set to help his wife overthrow democracy. We’ve got a madman shredding up a whole sovereign country so he can keep the scraps. Both the Arctic and the Antarctic exhibited record-obliterating heat anomalies and we’re still sending as much carbon into the sky as we possibly can.
Also, some famous guy smacked a tiny comedian in the face, and the world lost its mind.
He was defending his wife’s honor or something. Isn’t that special! If this is chivalry, it can go ahead and die.
For the record, I do not want Dave to haul off and smack anyone on my behalf unless I’m being pummeled or throttled at the time. I would be offended. I have never been struck by anyone in my life, but I’m pretty sure I’d go down hard and fast with a good pummelment. So yes, a little help would be in order in that circumstance. Dave has always known this implicitly. It’s one of his attractive qualities.
But in a sign that violence in defense of the Oh Goodness Gracious Weaker Sex will indeed continue into the next generation, one of the famous gentleman’s children tweeted “That’s how we do it!” Well, that’s one way, I suppose.
Let me tell you another way.
Picture a standard dive bar in 1977. Dave’s at the bar joking around with people. I’ve got a beer in hand and I’m dividing my time between him and some friends who showed up in a corner booth. They are my teammates on our softball team, Sappho’s Sluggers. I’m young, I have long blonde hair, and I don’t look too bad in low light. A man I’ve never met—let’s call him Skippy—is trying to chat me up. He’s pretty creepy and entitled and I am doing the delicate dance of rejecting him while trying not to provoke. It’s easier that way.
Nevertheless, he persisted.
My rejection became a little more explicit and he didn’t take it well. He sized up the situation. He determined I was associated with Dave. He started kind of pushing Dave on the shoulder to get his attention and said “Hey. Your ‘girlfriend’ is hanging out with lesbians.” Dave’s reaction (“none”) was not satisfying to him. He pushed it a little and Dave discarded a shrug in his direction and went back to talking with his friends. Dave once told me some men like to challenge bigger men because they can’t lose: if they prevail, they’re studs, and if they don’t, the big guy looks like a bully.
Skippy stewed for a while and then came up to challenge Dave to a game of pool. Ten bucks, he said, which used to be more than it is now. He let him break. Typically, Dave’s break sent all the balls every which where but in a pocket, and he went back to the bar while Skippy sank the four-ball and missed the next shot.
It’s your turn, he said, poking Dave a little, and Dave finished what he was saying and eased over to the pool table, surveyed it while chalking his cue, grinned at his opponent and said, brightly, “So, I’m stripeys?”
He sank a stripey.
He went back to the bar, chalking his cue, taking his time, to insert a bon mot into the ongoing conversation.
Skippy got agitated. It’s still your turn, he said. Dave ambled back to the table, still bantering with the boys at the bar, and sank another stripey.
It took him fifteen minutes and ten pretty good punchlines to run the table. I and the rest of the Sluggers were riveted, watching Skippy, wondering if a human being could actually burst into flame. We never saw it happen but he did evaporate.
And that’s how it’s done.
Sure, Skippy is probably driving a pickup truck with Confederate flags and incel stickers on it all the way to D.C. to go piss on something, but it was still a glorious night.
Great story–loved the photo–and I love Dave for playing it cool! As for Smith and his act of so called chivalry, it just made me miss my mom. She lived for these award shows and this stunt would’ve made her year. And yes, love how this is a leading news story along with those folks in Ukraine. Thanks for the great read Murr! 🙂
Now that you mention it, an out-and-out brawl would have been super entertaining.
You better keep Dave under wraps—I’m coming for him. Super cool AND good at pool. He’s the total package! And so are you. Maybe I’ll let you keep him after all. I didn’t do badly in the partner-choice department myself, although in his cups he did once try to punch a bus that he thought was out to flatten me. (It wasn’t, no humans or motor vehicles were harmed, and we talked it over later. One of those “teaching moments”, I suppose.)
I’d’ve paid to see that, LInda. Punching a bus always SEEMS like a good idea at the time, but…
I once, when young, was going to my car from work, and someone wasn’t watching as they were backing out and almost ran me over. I was MAD! I beat my fists against her car and yelled at her, and she looked really scared. Good. I would still do it again.
Oh, now, punching cars is definitely something I’ve seen and maybe done. But buses?
The weirdest thing about the slap incident is that the perp was laughing at the joke himself. That is, until he saw that his wife wasn’t amused. Then he lost it. And the 2nd weirdest thing is that G.I. Jane — the shaved, sweating, beady-eyed Demi Moore — was actually pretty sexy…wasn’t she? Didn’t the film attempt to capture the steamy beauty of a strong woman with no hair? I guess I didn’t see the insult. From the safety of my couch, I can admit that I’m really glad I didn’t watch the program on TV. What an embarrassment.
Here’s a very thoughtful take on the incident, for those who might be inclined to think about it some more. I’m done now that I’ve seen Murr’s post!
Thanks for the link to that article! A fascinating reason as to why someone would act out of character for such a seemingly trivial matter.
Good article. I have to mention that when I first saw Jada Pinkett Smith on Oscars night I thought she looked tremendous. Gorgeous. Confident. That beautiful head! So a joke about GI Jane meant nothing to me because I didn’t see her in a weak position. I thought she’d done it as a fashion statement and as such it was really good. Just putting that out there.
Jada was not the only woman there with a sleek head. I saw at least three while scanning the red carpet pics on the NYT. And she had on the most gorgeous gown of the night. She was stunning! I conclude the kerfluffle wasn’t about Jada. Her husband gots issues.
100% agree. She looked amazing.
After reading the article that Susan linked, I think that I can understand Smith’s overreaction a little better. I didn’t watch the Oscars, or even clips of them. Hell, I don’t even go to theaters anymore; it’s so much cheaper and more convenient to wait a year for it to come out on DVD or streaming. Mostly, I’ve read about what was said and what happened. My take-away:
This is what Chris Rock DOES. He spoke extemporaneously; it wasn’t part of his “bit.” To be offended seems like going to see Gallagher, sitting in the front row, and being pissed off because you got watermelon guts all over you. I don’t think what he said was particularly funny. In retrospect, I doubt that he does either. I much preferred his comment during the 2016 Oscars about Pinkett-Smith. This was during the protests over the Oscars being geared toward white people, and there were boycotts of the Oscars by celebrities, Smith and Pinkett-Smith being amongst them. Rock said (and I’m paraphrasing): ” Jada is boycotting the Oscars. That’s like me boycotting Rihanna’s party — I wasn’t invited.” Now THAT was funny.
Now if Jada had slapped Rock — that might have been entertaining, and much more reasonable than her husband “defending her honor.” Or, if Smith had had a glove with him, he could have gone onto the stage, slapped Rock lightly with the glove, and challenged him to a duel. Hopefully, it would be trash talk from 10 feet. (Rock would certainly win.) But, seriously, don’t we have bigger fish to fry at the moment? I mean, what about that comet hurtling toward us? (Oh, wait. That was just a movie I finally saw. Loved it, btw, Murr. The president was so over-the-top that before Trump, I would’ve gone “Pfft…. This isn’t realistic.” Yeah, actually Streep under-played it.)
That was my first reaction too–that Streep was way over the top, but I changed my opinion.
Jada had to send Won’t up there to do the slappin’ , because all the ‘huff’ woulda been out of her dragging that big beautiful green dress up onstage.
The only few minutes I did watch of the Oscars, and I tuned it at that very moment.
Dress-slapping at ten paces! Now that would be entertaining.
Speaking of dress…yes I already commented, but I couldn’t help but notice the particular garb you pool chicks were wearing in that photo above. You all look you’re kicking back after your performances at Ringling Brothers circus, I mean what’s going on? By the way that dark one looks like a lesbian..
We were dressing up in whatever we had to dress up in, in 1977. And they’re all Sappho’s Sluggers, so yeah.
I’d prefer Dave’s method over an all-out brawl any day. Your man has class.
I was mighty impressed myself. That fellow had it coming.
You have a Classy Guy and he handled Skippy well. There are so many ways to try to avoid violence and they should be explored first, violence being the last resort if it cannot be avoided in order to protect yourself from actual physical harm. That said, verbal abuse can be very damaging too… I think with the slap incident, both Men messed up, one going too far with inappropriate Humor that was hurtful to who he projected it upon… the other for reacting out of raw emotion… or perhaps, as I tend to lean, the whole thing was Staged for the publicity it has generated, I mean, they’re all Actors and the public does like a good Scandal and to choose their Villains.
That worked well for Rock; Paul told me that he read in the news that Rock performed a gig the other night and tickets went for $300. Much more than anyone with any sense would pay to see a comedian. He also got two standing ovations.
Smith, otoh, looks like a jerk, especially since a short time later, he won the Best Actor category. Apparently they are contemplating taking it away from him. I don’t think that would be right. If we took Oscars away from everyone who was an asshole, no one would ever win one again.
I keep hearing about how out-of-line Chris Rock was but that joke, while not hilarious, was very mild and I didn’t even think it was disrespectful. On the other hand, giving offense and taking offense are two separate things and you can’t necessarily control either one (except for yourself).
That Dave is definitely a keeper!!